{"id":523,"date":"2025-05-10T10:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-05-10T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/?p=523"},"modified":"2025-05-16T15:43:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-16T15:43:52","slug":"im-a-human-cash-machine-for-my-kids-im-completely-to-blame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/2025\/05\/10\/im-a-human-cash-machine-for-my-kids-im-completely-to-blame\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m a human cash machine for my kids \u2013\u00a0I\u2019m completely to blame"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"646\" height=\"448\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"article-image wp-image-20546926 lazyload\" alt=\"Katie Webster with her husband, Andrew (far left) and two sons, Tom and Fin (either side of Katie), all standing outside on grass with trees in the background (Picture: Katie Webster)\" loading=\"lazy\" data-src=\"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SEI_197720168-55f6-e1711626492306.jpg\">\t<\/div><figcaption>It\u2019s my biggest parenting regret (Picture: Katie Webster)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<div class=\"metro-article-audio-player\" data-vars-type=\"article-audio-player\">\n<div class=\"metro-article-audio-player-play-row\">\n\t\t\t\t<button class=\"metro-article-audio-player-play-button\"><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t\t<title>Listen to article<\/title>\t\t\t\t\t<span>Listen to article<\/span><br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<\/button><\/p>\n<div class=\"img-container\"><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"sponsor-image lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" alt=\"Powered by\" data-rewritten=\"false\" data-src=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/wp-content\/themes\/metro\/includes\/site-blocks\/article-audio\/assets\/powered-by.png\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div class=\"audio-controls hidden\">\n\t\t\t\t<audio class=\"audio-element\" src=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/ElevenLabs_2025-05-09T11_34_05_Axell-British-YouTube-Personality-_pvc_sp100_s50_sb75_se30_b_m2-0b24.mp3\" controls id=\"audio-68275c1e0a1f9\">\t\t\t<\/p>\n<p>\t\t\t\t\tYour browser does not support the audio element.<br \/>\n\t\t\t\t<\/audio>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em>Could I have some money for <a data-track=\"inline-tag-auto-link_article\" href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/tag\/drinks\/?ico=auto_link_lifestyle_P1_LNK1\">drinks<\/a>, please? I paid for my haircut and didn\u2019t realise how much it was x<\/em>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As soon as I read\u202fthe text from my youngest son Fin, I\u202fopened\u202fmy banking app and immediately\u202ftransferred\u202fhim\u202f\u00a350.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s 18 \u2013 and still living at home while studying for his <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/02\/13\/teenager-explains-able-take-28-a-levels-still-a-life-20272516\/\">A-Levels<\/a> \u2013 with a part-time job coaching football,\u202fbut\u202fhe\u2019d already\u202fburnt through\u202fthat month\u2019s\u202fwages on Deliveroo and <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/03\/26\/amazon-shoppers-race-snap-highly-rated-duvet-set-just-13-99-20524099\/?ico=mosaic_tag\">Amazon<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Having already stacked the dishwasher myself, alongside other household chores, he had done nothing to earn a reward.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>But we both knew I wouldn\u2019t say no.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve become a walking cash machine to my sons. It\u2019s my biggest <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/08\/29\/i-ignored-my-friends-when-they-tried-to-tell-me-this-one-thing-about-parenthood-19411609\/\">parenting<\/a> regret \u2013 made so much worse because I haven\u2019t followed the example of my millionaire construction magnate father.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Growing up,\u202fdespite his financial success, Dad\u202frefused to give me and my three siblings <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2022\/08\/18\/how-to-talk-to-children-about-money-from-an-expert-17197858\/\">pocket money<\/a>. If we wanted to go to the cinema or buy \u2018extras\u2019, we would clean his car, brush the yard, tidy our rooms, or do the dishes.\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"646\" height=\"646\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"article-image wp-image-20546927 lazyload\" alt=\"Michelle Ewen ghosting - kids treat me like a vending machine\" loading=\"lazy\" data-src=\"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SEI_197719967-bf27.jpg\">\t<\/div><figcaption>I swore that any child of mine would be raised with the same values Dad instilled in me (Picture: Katie Webster)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Anything my dad could legitimately call a \u2018job\u2019, we got paid to do.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The lesson was clear: Money was something you earned through <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/03\/28\/earn-1-568-a-month-rely-benefits-even-not-enough-20524186\/?ico=mosaic_tag\">work<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Dad took me in the car with him wherever he was going, so I saw his work ethic first hand. He would drive from Cheshire to London and back the same day for weeks.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Having sat in his boardroom before I could walk, soaking up the business talk like a sponge, I set up my first enterprise aged eight. I made 10p in a few hours \u2013 selling hand picked damsons at the end of our drive.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Dad soon shut down my business. He didn\u2019t want anyone local to think he\u2019d gone broke!\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I\u202fgot\u202fmy first proper job 11, waitressing for an outdoor catering company for \u00a31.10 an hour. I stayed in hospitality throughout my <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2023\/12\/06\/half-uni-students-scared-jobs-threat-ai-19904586\/?ico=mosaic_tag\">university<\/a> years, built and sold an award-winning bridal boutique, then continued my entrepreneurial journey in the luxury goods sector.\u00a0<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>There is no upper limit to what I will pay on travel to keep my sons safe<\/p>\n<p><title>Quote<\/title><title>Quote<\/title><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I\u2019m now a multi-six-figure business strategist, working with female entrepreneurs, and an asset-based millionaire in my own right.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I know how important it is to know the value of <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/03\/13\/money-age-revealed-worse-think-20446736\/\">money<\/a>,\u202fyet I can\u2019t stop\u202fsimply handing it over whenever Fin asks. The requests come to me via text and I simply fulfil them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Ironically, before having the boys, I swore to myself that any child of mine would be raised with the same values Dad instilled in me.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>My husband Andrew and I never felt the need to have the \u2018pocket money\u2019 conversation with each other before our eldest, Tom, now 23, was born.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Andrew had had the same upbringing as me. He worked to get money for the things he wanted and for Andrew especially, it was implied that our sons would be brought up the same.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>But, as the boys grew older, it became apparent I wasn\u2019t going to stick to what I\u2019d told myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"factbox\" data-ico=\"factbox_article\" data-track-module=\"factbox_article\">\n<h2 class=\"factbox-title\">\n\t\t\t\tHear from parents with very different attitudes to pocket money\t\t\t<\/h2>\n<div class=\"factbox-content\">\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/12\/19\/make-children-pay-christmas-presents-22209536\/\">I make my children pay for their own Christmas presents<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2025\/02\/08\/teach-children-money-showing-bank-balance-22492982\/\">I teach my children about money by showing them my bank balance<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>It started when they became teenagers. Tom turned 13, asked for money for Xbox points and I just gave it to him. With Andrew, it was an automatic no, but it never crossed my mind to refuse.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The truth is, I felt \u2018mean\u2019 saying no\u202fwhen\u202fI\u202fcould\u202feasily afford it.\u202f\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Fin loves branded clothing and Tom is mad for trainers and football boots. Andrew and I have always been clear that expensive one-off items are strictly for Christmas and birthdays, so they know not to ask for those things all year round.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>However, there is no upper limit to what I will pay on travel to keep my sons safe, so if they ask for train or taxi money, that\u2019s a given.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Besides, everyone complains about their children being in the house all the time. If Fin wants to go outdoors and have nice experiences, I want to encourage that. Whether it\u2019s lunch, a cinema date or beers at the pub, I\u2019ll pay for it.\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"img-container shareable-item wp-caption\">\n<div class=\"img-wrap\">\n\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"646\" height=\"430\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"article-image wp-image-20546923 lazyload\" alt=\"Michelle Ewen ghosting - kids treat me like a vending machine\" loading=\"lazy\" data-src=\"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/SEI_197719969-6b64-e1711626772383.jpg\">\t<\/div><figcaption>I felt \u2018mean\u2019 saying no\u202fwhen\u202fI\u202fcould\u202feasily afford it (Picture: Katie Webster)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Other <a href=\"https:\/\/metro.co.uk\/2024\/03\/23\/a-stay-home-mum-one-question-dread-20459404\/?ico=mosaic_tag\">mums<\/a> tell me they pay chore money up front and then they have to nag and moan for anything to be done. That\u2019s energy I personally don\u2019t want to waste.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I know from the very few times I have asked for help that the boys will do things around the house if prompted. But it\u2019s more important to me to have a loving, communicative and positive relationship with my sons.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Andrew doesn\u2019t like that Fin isn\u2019t made by me to do chores.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u2018It\u2019s my money and it\u2019s only \u00a320 or \u00a330 once or twice a week,\u2019\u202fI\u2019ll tell him \u2013 and myself.\u202fBut I don\u2019t keep track and it all adds up.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Fin works six hours a week for the minimum wage and never saves a penny. He couldn\u2019t be more different than Tom, who is a full-time football coach and likes his money where he can see it: In the bank.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Tom rarely asks me for anything now. He only ever asked occasionally to be fair, and stopped as soon as he got his first part-time job at 16.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t think Fin will let up any time soon though, and I have no age in mind when I will stop handing over money.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<section class=\"metro-comment-cta\">\n<div class=\"metro-comment-cta__inner\"><span class=\"metro-comment-cta__text-wrap\"><title>Comment now<\/title><span class=\"metro-comment-cta__text\">How do you feel about pocket money? Have your say in the comments below<\/span><\/span><a class=\"metro-comment-cta__button\" href=\"#metro-comments-container\">Comment Now<\/a><\/div>\n<\/section>\n<p>It\u2019s too late to change now; both boys are adults. I love them dearly. They are my pride and joy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>If I could turn back time, however, I would do everything differently.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Dad had the right idea all along: No child is entitled to allowance or pocket money.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t speak to Fin about my views. He\u2019s never heard me talk about \u2018pocket money\u2019 or \u2018chores\u2019, and I don\u2019t intend to start now.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He isn\u2019t entitled with his money in other ways, and I know he\u2019s a good lad. He wants to become an engineer in the long term, so I think it\u2019s more important for him to focus on revising for his A-Levels than to take on more hours at work.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m hopeful that when push comes to shove Fin will put the graft in when the time comes to get himself a full-time job.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Until then, I\u2019ll continue to be his \u2018human cash machine\u2019. I have no one to blame but myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><em>As told to Michelle Ewen<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>This article was originally published June 8, 2024<\/em><\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing <a href=\"mailto:jess.austin@metro.co.uk\">jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s my biggest parenting regret (Picture: Katie Webster) Listen to article Listen to article Your browser does not support the audio element. Could I have some money for drinks, please? I paid for my haircut and didn\u2019t realise how much it was x\u00a0 As soon as I read\u202fthe text from my youngest son Fin, I\u202fopened\u202fmy [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":525,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[20],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=523"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":529,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/523\/revisions\/529"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/525"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/originalholdum.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}